The Vineyard (1989)
Dir. James Hong – 90 Minutes
Starring James Hong , Karen Lorre , Michael Wong.
UK DVD release – Arrow Video – June 10th 2013
This is another classic cult horror being released by Arrow Video under their Arrowdrome label.
The vineyard stars, is written and directed by the legend that is James Hong. Hong is the star of 400+ films since the early 1950’s and at 84 shows no signs of slowing down.
Dr Elson Po (James Hong) is a a world renowned winemaker and also a bit of a crackpot scientist. He has discovered the secret to everlasting life – but at a price!
Dr Po has a secret dungeon filled with half naked , chained up women and he drinks a concoction of their blood mixed with the shavings from a sacred jade amulet that he permanently wears around his neck.
As the amulet is getting smaller and Po needs more elixir , he must try to find another more permanent way for immortality.
So on the premise of a film audition Dr Po organises for a group of very horny young people to visit his house and vineyard and in doing so the house starts to unveil some of it’s many secrets.
This is just pure 1980’s cheese. It is laden with synth music, fantastic costumes that are so very much of their time and The Vineyard is just completely bonkers.
Written , Directed and Starring James Hong , this is totally his project and also gives Mr Hong the chance to star and party alongside some beautiful and often semi naked starlets. Is this by chance? I think not.
The Vineyard is not a film to be taken seriously , it is a complete mess at times but is so wonderfully nostalgic it just warms the cockles and makes this old horror fan smile like a idiot.
You will laugh at the hilarious fashions and outfits, giggle at the inept and often woefully miscast henchmen and just stare in wonder at Dr Po’s marvellous way with the ladies.
For all it’s faults of a bad script, awful plotlines and dodgy acting I fell in love with The Vineyard and just adored the retro horror goodness on screen.
Another great dip into the sleazy horror world from Arrowdrome and comes with new artwork , a collectors booklet on the film written by Calum Waddell and includes the original theatrical trailer.
A film for fans of 1980’s horror and a good beer night in 7.5/10 – and I haven’t even mentioned the Zombies yet !!
The DVD can be ordered from Arrow Video – HERE