Jurassic Wars: Sharktopus Vs. Pteracuda (2014) 1 hr 24 mins
Directed by: Kevin O’Neill (Dinocroc, Dinoshark)
Written by: Matt Yamashita
Starring: Robert Carradine, Katie Savoy, Rib Hillis, Conan O’Brien
UK DVD Release July 11th from High Fliers Films
What’s it all about?
Upon finding a new born Sharktopus, Lorena (Savoy) decides the best option to take is to bring this creature to a public resort where she can train it to not be a killing machine. Meanwhile, Dr. Rico Symes (Carradine) oversees the testing of a bio engineered Pteracuda that soon runs out of control and flies around eating people, just because. Dr. Symes has the great idea, because all his ideas have worked out so far, of using Sharktopus to battle and destroy Pteracuda, you know, just because. With the help of his head of security, Hamilton, he sets about to do so. Oh, and it’s produced by Roger Corman!
Right, well, the world has quite obviously been waiting with baited breath for this sequel to ‘Sharktopus’. That genre classic that reignited the shark causes havoc movie. Ok, maybe not, the original wasn’t particularly good and neither, unsurprisingly, is this follow up. Bad script, poor directing, mostly awful acting, a shambles of a plot and one or two known actors that leave you spending most of the film wondering to yourself why they did it.
The biggest surprise is that Robert Carradine actually looks like he’s having fun. In fact, Carradine is the best thing about the movie, his portrayal of the deceptive and conniving Dr. Symes is enjoyable to watch and the film is always better when he’s onscreen. Alas, the screen is also taken up by the titular creatures, who do nothing more than bite people’s heads off and then fight each other for a bit, before they set away in search of another human cranium.
I wonder if this type of movie is actually scripted or whether they just everyone to turn up and improvise. Or if they all just take turns at writing a bit. Perhaps they know they need 80 pages of script so they share it out. “Jose, you take pages 1-20. Eric, you take, 21-40, Matt, you get 41-74 and Mum, you write 77-80. Yeah, don’t worry about talking to each other, just write the pages and it’ll be fine. I’m missing some?? Hey, let’s go for a drink!”
To be fair, you don’t sit down to watch something like this for it’s quality. You watch it for it’s mindlessness and the fact you can step away for moments at a time and never lose track of what’s actually going on. I mean, why should we the viewers keep track of the story when the filmmakers haven’t?
It’s low budget, it’s cheap and at times it’s cheerful with a couple of witty lines and a nice, obnoxious cameo from American chat show host Conan O’Brien.
Is it good? No.
But, was it ever meant to be?