Join Che as she plays Netflix Roulette and watches a randomly selected horror film. Will it be awesome? Will it be torture? What horrors await?? Find out every month with Netflix Roulette!
Title: Dream Home
Director: Amir Valinia
Starring: Chantelle Win, Cory Stills, Mia X, Chris Fry
Netflix Rating: 2.4 stars
Seen it before: No
First Impressions: The rating doesn’t look promising, but the director has done music videos, so I’m hoping at least the visuals will be stylish. The description says it’s a haunted house film. At least it better be. I’ve been burned before, and when the description starts going on about Dream Home being a subversion of the American dream… well, a crappy psychological thriller can’t be far behind…
The Verdict: That was really painful to watch. Horrifically cheap production values are the only thing that stands out in this poor excuse for a film. The acting is terrible, the dialogue is bad and the cinematography laughable. Which is alarming considering the director has five credits as a cinematographer. The film is also shot on video. And not good video, like soap operas. Crappy video that is only a few steps up from say, a 15 year old video of a child hitting a man in the balls with a baseball but infinitely less entertaining.
The script is also imbalanced. It’s 90 percent domestic drama by way of a real estate ad. There is a good twenty to thirty minutes of discussions about the house and how beautiful it is, and how much work did they have to put in and even a riveting scene in a hardware store buying paint.
The ghosts are just “actors” (which gets sarcastic air quotes for their underperformance) with no special effects, no make-up, no anything to make them ghosts aside from video tricks to make them dissolve into thin air. And I know I mentioned the bad acting, but it’s so unilaterally brutal, everyone single one of them is bad. No one is an actual actor, and if they are, this is probably their first and last film. Unless they watched themselves in this and realized they need acting lessons. And back to the script for a second, the dialogue repeats, ad nauseam. The characters go over and over, the same dialogue, explaining to each other the same plot points in slightly different ways over and over for entire scenes.
And after all this I haven’t gotten to the plot. Well, there isn’t much of one. It’s a stock standard haunting with crap ghosts. Young newlyweds, Darrell and Faye (Stills and Win) buy a Southern charmer of a house and set about fixing it up. But strange things happen the longer they stay, mystery cats, creepy old guys, dreams and weird old ladies. And then the movie doesn’t so much end, as just stop. It honestly doesn’t matter and no one cares.
Dream Home is the sort of film that makes you angry you watched it because it’s an hour and a half of life you’ll never get back.