Stitches (2012) Review


Stitches 2012

Dir. Conor McMahon

Kaleidoscope (UK)  –  86 Minutes

Never work with animals or children the old adage says and unfortunately for him Stitches the clown works with both. Stitches (Ross Noble – major UK stand-up comedian) is a grumpy, foul mouthed childrens entertainer who lives in a tiny caravan on the Irish coast.

He arrives at his latest party for Tom(Doctor Who and Sarah Jane Adventures) a quiet young boy and all his obnoxious friends. Stitches does his best (which isn’t really much) to keep the kids entertained but after a series of crappy tricks the kids get their own back by tying his laces together . Unfortunately poor old Stitches loses his balance and falls face first into the dishwasher tray where his eye meets a large kitchen knife with fatal and bloody consequences in front of all the children and especially birthday boy Tom.

After Stitches funeral (which Tom witnesses from his treehouse) Tom creeps to the graveyard and follows a group of clowns and watches them performing a secret ceremony of their own , and upon being seen he is informed that a clown cannot rest until he has finished the party.


The film now transports us 6 years later where all the kids are now 16 or thereabouts Tom is now a quiet and introverted young man who is still on medication after what he witnessed years earlier , everywhere Tom looks he sees Stitches or clown figures. In fact all his friends from the party have developed little traits that have bloomed since Stitches death.

It is approaching Tom’s 16th birthday and his Mum is away for the weekend and Tom decides to have a small party with him and three friends. Of course as with any teenager with an empty house this soon snowballs into a large party with seemingly everyone from the school invited, including all the kids that were there that fateful day six years earlier.When the party is in full swing a white-gloved hand appears from Stitches grave then two large oversized feet, yes Stitches has returned to finished the party he started 6 years earlier.

Ross Noble is very famous in the UK although he may not be that well known elsewhere. His stand-up shows are always one-offs as he juggles many streams of thought , he will just go off on a tangent then later straight back to what he was talking about 20 minutes earlier. A large amount of his show can also be audience driven through his fantastic interaction. Having met Ross I can say there are few nicer people out there.

Ross is great at playing a clown , it is a role almost made for him although this wasn’t. He doesn’t need real acting skills as this is just one-liners after one-liners, he stalks and kills with great relish and the humour is very dark and very British. The highlight for me in this was the death scenes , they are inventive, hugely over the top and very bloody. In a genre that has seen almost every death possible , this throws in a few new ones that are delightful. There is also a wonder chase scene on bikes but won’t give any more away.

All in this is just a great fun film and I did have a huge amount of fun watching it. I saw it on the big screen at Grimmfest last year and just got the BluRay and watched it again , and second time around it was equally a great watch. It just brings a smile to your face then hits you with a whole lotta gore. Fantastic.

A must see for horror and slasher fans and just to see Mr Ross Noble clowning about, maybe don’t watch if you suffer from Coulrophobia .

I just died in your arms tonight 8/10


Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

About Andy Deen

A horror fan for as far back as I can remember . The first things that scared me were Doctor Who and the BBC ghost stories . As an early teen the video revolution came along and with it the Video Nasty campaign , and through all that I immersed myself in all things nasty. I love Slashers, Haunted House Stories and Devil Worshipping/Panic Films . I watch too much horror , listen to loud Heavy Metal and enjoy the odd tattoo \m/\m/

Comments are closed.