Santa’s Slay (2005)
Dir David Steiman – 80 minutes
Lionsgate Home Entertainment.
As Christmas is approaching , I will be watching and reviewing a few Xmas related horror films . Some may be obvious like this and others may be a little more tenuous.
I love Christmas based horror films so I may be a little biased in this area , but hey tis the season to be jolly!!
Now it appears that there were two immaculate conceptions , the first was Jesus the son of God and the second was Santa son of Satan .
So Santa is a demon and 1000 years ago he lost a bet with an angel and so for the past millennia he has had to be the giver of joy and happiness , but that 1000 years has ended and my Santa is pissed off.
Nicolas Yuleson (Douglas Smith) is a teenager who really doesn’t enjoy Christmas , and soon his Grandpa (Robert Culp) reveals to Nicolas the history of Santa and his relationship to them.
Now Nicolas and his girlfriend Mary (Emilie de Ravin) have to defend themselves against the demonic Santa as he pursues them before time runs out and Christmas is over.
The film starts at a great pace with superb one-liners and plenty of action , but it slowly loses momentum . But saying that it is still immensely enjoyable and huge fun.
Humour is throughout the film , like when after Santa has visited the local strip club and killed many of the strippers and clientele , the local pastor addresses the congregation of the church and asks them to pray for the souls of the strippers . “Heathens like Crystal Candy , Dixie Rect and Tess Tickles “.
There are also many cameos throughout from the likes of James Caan , Tommy *tiny* Lister , Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart and Fran Drescher to name a few.
But the star of the show has to be Santa (Bill Goldberg) . For those unfamiliar with Goldberg he is a 6ft 2” , 260 pound ex Professional American footballer and professional wrestler . And in this he is totally over the top and owns every scene he is in. He is loud , brash , in your face , violent , psychotic and very funny.
This is a film to invite friends over on Christmas Eve , have a few beers and snacks and enjoy 80 minutes of festive slice & dice .
A Christmas Cracker – 7/10