Christmas Evil (aka You Better Watch Out) (1980) Review

christmas-evilChristmas Evil (aka You Better Watch Out) 1980

Dir. Lewis Jackson – 95 minutes

I saw this for the first time yesterday thanks to my good friends at Grimmfest (Manchester UK horror film festival and monthly screenings – get them checked out). It was the first of a double bill with VHS (my next review).

I really had very little knowledge on this film, I do remember I think John Waters mentioning it as his favourite Christmas film. And with this praise then I hoped for a nice but nasty yuletide treat.

The film starts with two young brothers and their mum crouching quietly on the stairs watching Santa come down the chimney and drop off the presents. He stops for a small treat they left him , then with a nod and a wink he disappears back up the chimney – job done.

The boys retreat off to bed , but the elder Harry comes back down the stairs to find his mum being seduced by a fully clothed Santa , in what is a classic scene. Upset and confused … Continue reading

FDR: American Badass (2012) Review


FDR: American Badass

Dir. Gareth Brawith – 93 minutes

Oh where to start with this . Well I was really looking forward to this as its from the team that brought us Poolboy: Drowning out the Fury in 2011 which I loved.

So expectations were high and even more so when I realised Brian Bostwick (Brad from The Rocky Horror Picture Show) was starring as FDR and Bruce McGill (D-Day from Animal House) . Two great comic actors from two of my favourite films.

It is 1931 and FDR (Bostick) is currently a governor and is out shooting with friends when they are attacked by a werewolf. Two friends are killed and FDR is bitten on the leg , before heroically killing it.

FDR comes round in hospital and is told by the doctors that werewolf bites contain Polio and he has lost the use of his legs (but luckily his cock still works).

Louis (McGill) is FDR’s right hand man and best friend , and he learns from the doctor that the werewolf that attacked them was a Nazi and may have been sent by Hitler himself.

So that is a very basic synopsis , I really didn’t … Continue reading

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988) Review


sororitybabesSorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)

Dir. David DeCoteau – 80 minutes .

Well I had decided to watch some Christmas based horror films , but after watching Silent Night Deadly Night I decided to catch another film starring the lovely Linnea Quigley.

After much deliberation I decided on the 1988 feature Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama , which I have always known about but never got round to watching. So it was time to put that right.

It starts with 3 college guys just wasting time in their room . Bored and (of course for the 1980s) very horny they decide to go to the local female sorority house where at midnight the new pledges will be having their initiation ceremony . You never know they might even be able to get a look at the goings on inside!

The guys turn up just in time to see the two new pledges Lisa (Michelle Bauer) and Taffy (Brinke Stevens) at the mercy of the nasty and wannabe prison warden Babs (the late Robin Stille) who puts them … Continue reading

Silent Night Deadly Night (1984) Review


silentnightdeadlynightSilent Night Deadly Night (1984)

Dir Charles Sellier Jr – 85 Minutes.

Anchor Bay Entertainment / Arrow Video .

If I did my favourite three Christmas Horror films (which I have) , then this would be in it (and it is) .

I just adore this film , it is dark , nasty , bleak and yet full of dark humour.

Released in late 1984 this film caused all kinds of protests leading it to be pulled from cinemas . Before it was pulled it was out-grossing a film released on the same day named A Nightmare on Elm Street.

The film was later released in 1986 by (I believe) Aquarius Films however this was quite heavily edited and cut . The close ups of Billy dressed as Santa with weapons were just cut and also the advertising was completely changed and featured more on the controversy of the original release and less on the killer in a Santa suit.

On a further note this film was never submitted to the BBFC for classification but yet does appear on many … Continue reading

Santa’s Slay (2005) Review


Santa’s Slay (2005)

Dir David Steiman  –  80 minutes

Lionsgate Home Entertainment.

As Christmas is approaching , I will be watching and reviewing a few Xmas related horror films . Some may be obvious like this and others may be a little more tenuous.

I love Christmas based horror films so I may be a little biased in this area , but hey tis the season to be jolly!!

Now it appears that there were two immaculate conceptions , the first was Jesus the son of God and the second was Santa son of Satan .
So Santa is a demon and 1000 years ago he lost a bet with an angel and so for the past millennia he has had to be the giver of joy and happiness , but that 1000 years has ended and my Santa is pissed off.

Nicolas Yuleson (Douglas Smith) is a teenager who really doesn’t enjoy Christmas , and soon his Grandpa (Robert Culp) reveals to Nicolas the history of Santa and his relationship to them.

Now Nicolas and his girlfriend Mary (Emilie de Ravin) have to defend themselves against the demonic Santa as he pursues them before time runs out … Continue reading

The Loved Ones (2009) Review


lovedonesThe Loved Ones (2009)

Optimum Releasing – 84 minutes

Sometimes less is more , and with The Loved Ones that is definitely the case . This films doesn’t try to be clever it is just a really grim , dark and nasty film set in a small town in Australia . It is beautifully acted , the sets are perfect and the script is funny yet utterly terrifying.

The film starts with student Brent (Xavier Samuel) driving along with his dad when a mysterious figure appears in the middle of the road forcing Brent to swerve and smash head first into a tree killing his father.

Six months later we rejoin Brent who is still struggling to come to terms with his fathers death and his part in it.
Slowly withdrawing from his friends and his mother Brent finds solace in marijuana, self harm and his loving girlfriend Holly (Victoria Thaine).

It’s the day of the prom and Brent is asked to the prom by Lola (who is played by the fantastic Robin McLeavy) but he has to politely … Continue reading

Twixt (2011) Review


Twixt (2011)

Dir. Francis Ford Coppola – 88 minutes

Francis Ford Coppola really needs no introduction , a writer , director , producer . He is also a successful businessman and vintner as well being a septuagenarian .

So why I wonder did he decide to return to directing with the 2011 film Twixt ? I know he hasn’t *been away* but I wonder why go through the whole writing/producing/directing process at that age and why anyone didn’t say STOP , STOP THIS NOW!

Well apparently the whole influence for the film was he had a vivid alcohol induced dream and upon awakening this was conceived .

Anyhow – onto the film .

Failed author and alcoholic Hall Baltimore (Val Kilmer) arrives in a small town to do a book signing in a hardware store . While there he gets talking to the sheriff (Bruce Dern) who tells Hall about a mass murder many years ago and also explains he has a fresh corpse back in the morgue that has died in suspicious circumstances .

He decides to stay on in town and try to write his next book . Help comes in the form of alcohol induced dreams … Continue reading

Nightmare At Elm Manor (1961) Short Film Review


Nightmare at Elm Manor (circa 1961)

George Harrison Marks – 5 minutes

This is a wonderful little 5 minute nudie/horror short directed by legendary British glamour photographer Harrison Marks .

Rather than me randomly babble about him here is a brief biography from the site .

Harrison Marks, as he came to be known, first got involved in glamour photography in 1953 after he met, and started a relationship with Pamela Green (1929-2010), a photographic model. He was 27, she was 24 and together they were to transform the British glamour scene and gain world-wide recognition. They started out by producing postcard-sized black and white glamour photographs in sets of five packed in cellophane bags, which they sold through book shops and newsagents in the Soho area of London where they had established their home and studio together. These tastefully posed pin-ups quickly became popular and the business expanded rapidly.
In 1957, they launched ‘Kamera’, their first printed publication. The 7 x 5 inch, 36 page, monthly pocketbook of nudes was an instant success.
They followed Kamera with an array of similar publications and an annual, 13 page colour calendar. Their success grew, and at the … Continue reading

A Visit From The Incubus (2001) Short Film Review


A Visit From The Incubus (2001)

Anna Biller Productions – 26 minutes

Set in the old west , this 26 minute short deals with a young lady being visited by an incubus .

Lucy (Anne Biller) visits her friend Madeleine (Natalia Schroeder) and tells her of sleepless nights due to visits from an incubus while she sleeps . We are told he takes many forms in these encounters including rats and even the devil himself .

Madeleine then confesses that she has been visited by the incubi , but they are actually vampires who feed not on blood but on sex ! . Madeleine also tells Lucy that she is no longer visited by the incubus – and she seems almost sad and wistful that it has now stopped .

Madeleine asks Lucy to stay over so they may fight the demon together should he appear , but Lucy has some shopping to do to take her mind off this , and needs to get some groceries , you know onions and things .

Lucy returns home later (minus any onions I may add) and retires to bed . She falls into a deep sleep and is once again … Continue reading

The Wicker Tree (2010) Review


The Wicker Tree (2010)

Director – Robin Hardy

Anchor Bay Films – 95 minutes

Oh Dear , just oh dear .
I was looking forward to watching this as I am a major fan of the original and knowing Robin Hardy both wrote this (it is based on his book Cowboys for Christ) and directed this , I was intrigued as to see what he could do almost 40 years on from The Wicker Man .

After five minutes I realised this was going to be both awful and at the same time fun .

The film starts in Dallas when we see famous singer Beth Boothby (Britannia Nicol) and her (thick as a brick) cowboy boyfriend Steve (Henry Garrett) attending a church service where she sings on stage , after this the preacher explains to the congregation that Beth & Steve are going to Scotland for two years as redeemers to convert the locals .
The preacher explains “There are people there that have forgotten the Lord – many I hear don’t even believe in Angels” . Well as good a reason as any then to jet off to the heathen wastelands of Scotland .

Upon … Continue reading