Dir- Fred Olen Ray
Starring – Jay Richardson, Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer & Gunnar Hansen
88 Films Slasher Classics Collection 06
UK Blu-Ray Release from 88 Films – 23rd March 2015
“The CHAINSAWS used in this movie are REAL and DANGEROUS! They are handled here by seasoned PROFESSIONALS . The makers of this Motion Picture advise strongly against anyone attempting to perform these stunts at home. Especially if you are naked and about to engage in strenuous SEX. My Conscience Is Clear!” Fred Olen Ray
And with that so begins the 1988 schlockfest that is HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS .
Private Investigator Jack Chandler (Richardson) is hired by the mother of a young runaway (Quigley) who has left home due to her step-father’s nightly visits. Chandler gets a call from the local PD who have a girl fitting the runaways description in custody, she is charged with the murder of a client and two police officers with a chainsaw.
Unfortunately for Chandler this is a dead-end , and now as the film progresses and we see more prostitutes do away with their ‘Johns’ using a chainsaw as the weapon of choice. Mercedes (Bauer) sees of a burly client whilst Lisa (Elise) strikes out baseball loving perv Hermie (Fox Harris). At each killing there is a mysterious dark stranger in the background , but who is he and why are these sexy sexy party girls butchering their clientele ?
Well Jack is handed a book of matches found amongst some grizzly body parts tossed away in a bag, and on the book is a number. This leads Jack to an encounter with the lovely Mercedes and much much more.
Now where to start with Fred Olen Ray’s seminal work on safe sex ? Well I (unlike some who pretend to be) am old enough to remember the UK release on VHS, in fact I did own a copy until ‘The Culling’ back in the mid 90’s when I had to get rid of most of my VHS collection (insert tears of sadness). Anyway without going into massive detail as this review is for the new 88 Films release, the UK VHS release had the word ‘Chainsaw’ deleted from the cover and artwork and it was replaced by a picture of a chainsaw instead, so we ended up with Hollywood ‘pic of a chainsaw’ Hookers. Yes that was the crazy days of 1980s moral panic Thatchers Britain.
So before even watching HCH it already had the ‘BBFC’ factor , now add to this Michelle Bauer in red underwear wielding a phallic chainsaw, one of the most iconic images of 1980s horror , and you have a cult classic in the making. But even with all of the above you still a good film, don’t you?
Firstly director Fred Olen Ray is the king of Eighties & Nineties pulp cinema, and he was pumping out 5-10 features a year. There are many of varying quality , but what you will get (mostly) is laughs and babes, in fact I think Fred is almost hitting 20 films of his own that feature the word bikini in the title. He may not be to everyone’s taste but if you are a fan of the Eighties the do yourself a favour and check out his work , especially his earlier titles.
Well HCH is an absolute classic, it embodies everything that I love in Eighties cinema. Made over just 5 days pulp director Fred Olen Ray managed to get horror icon Gunnar Hansen, scream queens Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer and introduced Jay Richardson , who he would work with on numerous later features.
HCH is a full on riot, it has blood, gore, tits, laughs, violence, tits and fucking chainsaws. What is not no like? Running as a film noir comedy , HCH has a running narrative from lead Jack Chandler that gives us an insight into the mind of an LA private detective. And it is absolutely hilarious, and in fact HCH is one of the greatest horror comedies you will ever see. Jack Chandler is just full of side-splitting one-liners that just crease me up each and every time I hear them , and I have listed a few at the end of the review.
But as usual I am waffling and the review is all over the place, but I love HCH so much that it is very difficult for me to maintain a steady cognitive stream as images keep flashing in my brain. Bauer doing her amazing sexy nude dance (and miming the wrong song – points to ring), Chandler’s one-liners, Gunnar Hansen just smouldering, Linnea Quigley in a double chainsaw dance and lots and lots more.
88 Films must be continually applauded for their releases. The quality of the films chosen, transfers and extras are exceptional and at the moment they are second to none in my opinion in the UK re-release market. They are also not just bringing these films back to us seasoned older horror hacks but also introducing these gems to a new, younger audience.
The restoration looks fantastic and the sound is superb, real care and love has gone into this and it can be seen throughout the complete presentation.
So if you are looking for one of the most iconic and influential no-budget horror films from the decade that brought us poodle perms and care bears then look no further because 88 Films have just knocked this out of the park. And I haven’t even started on the extras yet!!
Essential Viewing 9/10
You can purchase HCH from ** Films own shop – http://88-films.myshopify.com
LINNEA QUIGLEY’S HORROR WORKOUT – Bonus feature directed by PUPPET MASTER’s Kenneth Hall and starring the beautiful blonde icon of HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS in an alluring, creature-packed, fear-fitness video! Join former PLAYBOY pin-up Linnea as she whips zombies and other monsters into shape with all of the cheeky and sexy charm that you would expect from the legendary Scream Queen! -With Bonus Audio Commentary!! A unique piece of trash gold and the audio commentary from Linnea & Kenneth is brilliant.
Brand New Director overseen Restoration
5.1 DTS-HD MA soundtrack
LPCM Stereo Soundtrack
Audio Commentary with director Fred Olen Ray and David DeCoteau
Audio Commentary with genre experts Calum Waddell, director of SLICE AND DICE: THE SLASHER FILM FOREVER and Justin Kerswell, author of TEENAGE WASTELAND: THE SLASHER FILM UNCUT.
Original Theatrical Trailer (HD)
Fred Olen Ray’s Nite Owl Theater
Remembering Chainsaw Hookers 27 years later (HD) – Which is a lovely piece starring Fred Olen Ray, Michelle Bauer and Jay Richardson. They talk with great fondness about the filming of HCH and Michelle Bauer definitely still has that twinkle in her eyes!!
Archive Making of Documentary – Again another nice docu but this one from back in the day starring Fred Olen Ray, Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley.
Reversible sleeve with original poster art -88 Films Trailer Reel
Booklet notes by Calum Waddell featuring an extensive, career spanning interview with star Gunnar Hansen
Region Code: B
Picture Format: HD 1080p 1.78:1
Audio Format: DTS-HD MA Stereo 5.1 / LPCM Stereo
Running Time: 75 Mins Approx
The Jack Chandlers Quotes
Chandler – “Being a Dick is a 24 hour-a-day job”
Bartender – “What’s it to be”? Chandler – ” Bourbon with a Bourbon chaser”
Chandler – “If my head wasn’t hurting so much I’d have sworn I was in heaven – heaven for guys who like big tits!”
Chandler – “The girl talked like a frosted flake, but she had the nicest set of knockers that I had seen in a long time!”